Fear is both natural, and a construct. Touching a hot stove will produce an immediate fear of touching it again, lest you get burnt. But if every time you see a stove after that point you suddenly worry you might burn yourself, it has suddenly become a construct, an irrational fear. It *should* be simple, don't touch a hot stove. But how many of our everyday actions are influenced by our fears? Did you talk to that guy/girl you like? Did you sit somewhere new in the cafeteria? Did you walk by the homeless person, and kept looking straight ahead, making sure you didn't make direct eye contact for more than a nanosecond? What were you afraid of? What keeps you chained? What stops you from doing exactly what you want? I think for most of us, "Fear" is the answer a lot of times.
What makes someone afraid of fighting several people at one time? Human beings are pack animals; kill the leader and the pack scatters. I have prevented more fights from ever starting simply by *preparing* for battle than I can remember. And when you're prepared it instantly shows. Groups of people who just before were so ready for a confrontation suddenly look away, suddenly realize and remember they *don't* want to get hurt, and that they're facing the imminent prospect of that. And if they attack anyways? Well... so what? Let them, and destroy them. Do not make idle threats. There's no need to boast; simply know for *yourself* that if they attack, you will not stop until their ability to harm you has ceased, either through their retreat, or from their physical inability to continue to fight. "Attack into the teeth of the enemy." If you do not believe you can escape, then turn around, and attack *them*. "If you don't hit first, you will be the first hit." This is fact! Hit hard, hit fast, and hit often. All of these principles are saying one single thing: push the enemy. Push them *back*. Fight them with such a ferocity that they *must* give way, and back up, leaving you alone. Don't wonder, don't think, simply DO IT!
What are you afraid of? Of dying? It will happen, someday. But if you're reading this, then it obviously hasn't happened yet, regardless of your circumstances, lol. So keep fighting...what else do you have to lose? Certainly nothing *more* valuable. Your mindset will determine your victories so much more than any other contributing factor. It will determine more than any other FIVE contributing factors. Be the wolf. Be the force that *drives*. There is an indomitable part of every human being that so few ever touch, much less come to know. If you are HERE, then you have come through every trial, every pain, every event in your life, and you have made it this far. What do you have to fear? Keep going, keep moving forward, and you will continue to overcome everything in your way.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Mindset
We are talking about combat here; not sparring, not sport in any fashion. But pure, violent combat. Your mindset needs to reflect this. I'll say that again, to reiterate: your mindset NEEDS to reflect this. It is unavoidable; it is a necessity. You are not going to aim to kill your opponent; that is too detailed of a goal. You will STOP your opponent, and it doesn't matter how. That may involve killing him. It sounds like too subtle a distinction, killing vs stopping. But it is distinct, and it will save you. In the moment of conflict you do not want your hand or your will to waver due to emotion confusing you. Listen to your instincts. If you feel even for a second you're in danger, YOU NEED TO HEED THAT. No negative will come of it that's worth mentioning if you're wrong. And if you're not? Then my friend, that is an instinct you want to pay attention to. So you will train to STOP your opponent, using whatever means is at your disposal.
I use the word "destroy", in my thinking, when it comes to how I will deal with a genuine opponent, i.e. one who will try to do me harm. The definition for destroy is "to render ineffective or useless; nullify; neutralize;invalidate". To render ineffective, to neutralize....this is what you will do. You will break your opponent's ability to cause you or others harm, and in doing so you *will* be in the right.
I use the word "destroy", in my thinking, when it comes to how I will deal with a genuine opponent, i.e. one who will try to do me harm. The definition for destroy is "to render ineffective or useless; nullify; neutralize;invalidate". To render ineffective, to neutralize....this is what you will do. You will break your opponent's ability to cause you or others harm, and in doing so you *will* be in the right.
The Power In Defining a Word
There's no doubt that many words get overused to an amazing degree in our society today. Ultimate. Extreme. Even love becomes used in so many instances that the moment someone *feels* an attraction for someone else, we might swear we love them, lol. But I believe "fighting" is one of those words that has been used so much, to describe so many things, that we don't put much thought into using it, or hearing it used, and so don't fully realize what it *does* mean. It is NOT the UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship), it is not boxing, it is not even two guys throwing punches at eachother necessarily. The moment a single rule is introduced to protect the safety of those involved, it ceases being a fight, and has become a sport.
This is relevant to women today, because when the thought of violence presents itself to a woman, there are all of these societal uses for the word "fight" that have absolutely no bearing on her upcoming predicament. A rapist will NOT fight fairly. An abuser will hold to no *moral* standard, even if you will; they'll only stop at the limit of what they can get away with. That last part bears repeating, so please, listen close: "an abuser will hold to NO standard, even if you will; they'll only stop at the limit of what they can get away with." It is so vitally important to realize *before* a fight exactly what a fight is, and what it is not. There will be no fair play given, and your opponent will take what they can from you. Fight them back. Redefine what they thought was true a moment ago. Show them you *will not* go down.
There's a story, a genuine historical event, during World War 2 of a person named Charles Kelly. Charles was with his unit in a town in Italy. The town was being attacked non-stop by German soldiers. Kelly, *single-handedly*, held off an entire German unit. One man, for an entire night, and stretching into the next day, held off the enemy. He redefined the world for those Germans attacking. I share this story because this person did not accomplish what he did because he was a man. The ones attacking were men too. Kelly did what he did because his mindset as a warrior was so completely beyond those who were attacking him, that they stood absolutely NO chance whatsoever of overcoming him.
If someone attacks you, they do not plan, already, on fighting fairly. There is no play here; they completely intend to hurt you, or more. Redefine their world. Break the idea in their eyes that women are weaker targets. You are not. There are as many traditions in human history of powerful matriarchal societies. YOU HAVE IT IN YOU! I would rather have a woman who has a warrior's mindset beside me in a fight, than any man in the world without that mindset.
And this comes to defining the most important word that will ever touch someone: power. Not political power; not power over any other human being. This power is yours; it comes completely from within. This power is entirely self-contained. It will always come from inside of you. People who exert authority over others are trying so desperately to touch something they'll probably never experience. Genuine, self-sufficient power. I am part Cherokee. And they were a matriarchal society. My mom has always made sure I knew about my ancestors, my heritage, and it has been something that influences so much of my thinking, my actions even today. They were always such a proud people. And I don't mean proud as in ego. I mean proud as in good. They had such heart, they loved so deeply everything around them. And they were a matriarchal society. THAT is what resides in you, desperately wanting to show you how simpler life can be if you'll just tap into it, and let it genuinely shine to all those around you.
This is relevant to women today, because when the thought of violence presents itself to a woman, there are all of these societal uses for the word "fight" that have absolutely no bearing on her upcoming predicament. A rapist will NOT fight fairly. An abuser will hold to no *moral* standard, even if you will; they'll only stop at the limit of what they can get away with. That last part bears repeating, so please, listen close: "an abuser will hold to NO standard, even if you will; they'll only stop at the limit of what they can get away with." It is so vitally important to realize *before* a fight exactly what a fight is, and what it is not. There will be no fair play given, and your opponent will take what they can from you. Fight them back. Redefine what they thought was true a moment ago. Show them you *will not* go down.
There's a story, a genuine historical event, during World War 2 of a person named Charles Kelly. Charles was with his unit in a town in Italy. The town was being attacked non-stop by German soldiers. Kelly, *single-handedly*, held off an entire German unit. One man, for an entire night, and stretching into the next day, held off the enemy. He redefined the world for those Germans attacking. I share this story because this person did not accomplish what he did because he was a man. The ones attacking were men too. Kelly did what he did because his mindset as a warrior was so completely beyond those who were attacking him, that they stood absolutely NO chance whatsoever of overcoming him.
If someone attacks you, they do not plan, already, on fighting fairly. There is no play here; they completely intend to hurt you, or more. Redefine their world. Break the idea in their eyes that women are weaker targets. You are not. There are as many traditions in human history of powerful matriarchal societies. YOU HAVE IT IN YOU! I would rather have a woman who has a warrior's mindset beside me in a fight, than any man in the world without that mindset.
And this comes to defining the most important word that will ever touch someone: power. Not political power; not power over any other human being. This power is yours; it comes completely from within. This power is entirely self-contained. It will always come from inside of you. People who exert authority over others are trying so desperately to touch something they'll probably never experience. Genuine, self-sufficient power. I am part Cherokee. And they were a matriarchal society. My mom has always made sure I knew about my ancestors, my heritage, and it has been something that influences so much of my thinking, my actions even today. They were always such a proud people. And I don't mean proud as in ego. I mean proud as in good. They had such heart, they loved so deeply everything around them. And they were a matriarchal society. THAT is what resides in you, desperately wanting to show you how simpler life can be if you'll just tap into it, and let it genuinely shine to all those around you.
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